Kate...My love...The Bain of my Existence

Wow...4 thoughs of u that know who Kate Clawson is I am sure that u would all agree the she is very pretty. I sure think so. What a mess...2 fill every1 in on what has been going on! I really like Kate. Its a very complicated situation. Just when I was going 2 ask her out I saw over Memorial Day Weekend... she began 2 hang w/ 1 of my friends who's name is Michael. By that tue. they were going out. It has been a hard trial. Kate still likes me. I did not think that the relationship would last that long cuz Michael is known 2 girl hop. Well n e ways. It has been about a month sence they began 2 go out. Me and Kate still talked on the phone and went 2 hang w/ each other. Just this last Mon. we went dancing. This is when it got really bad. The fri. b4 we went dancing as well. Me and Kate got into it and danced primarily w/ only each other. Well on mon. I tryed 2 refain myself from this same thing occuring. 4 the first hour we did not dance 2gether @ all. Then the second only a little, but by the third hour we were dancing only w/ each other again. The salsa dancing came. 2 say the least I had 2 remind myself many times that she had a bf otherwise some things might have happened that would b very bad 2 her relationship w/ Michael...like worse then they already were. Mon. night after many tears and a 3 1/2 hour phone call...we decided not 2 c each other n e more. This helped..alot, however we could not stop commmunication. We liked each other 2 much! We talked 2 each other about 2 hours every night @least. I was not sure what 2 do. I felt bad about telling her 2 break up w/ Michael...he had done nothing wrong. Infact he is the best bf that she has ever had. I am not sure how much that means, but I knew that is was not something that I could break up. Tue. when I went 2 yg @ church on the hill...I knew that God did not want me 2 break them up. I knew that he was using this a time of trial 4 both of us. I just had a peace that I had never had about it b4. I prayed about it alot. Soon I was brought 2 the book of Romans chapter 5. This was assingned 2 me by Kenny and I had 2 read it 4 our fri. meeting! This gave me so much hope! I was very thankfull that God was there...watching me and protecting me. On Sunday the week b4 all this Erin shared the love chapter in I Corinthians 13. This also has helped me! I think that is has helped Kate as well. This weekend I left 4 my grandmothers house in Yoncalla. It is a little north of Roseburg. About 3 hours away from Yamhill...my home. B4 I left I was talking 2 Kate alot. C this whole time Michael knew little 2 nothing about this! He found out that she was talking 2 me and was not 2 happy. He did not get mad but he was not that happy. He called me and I told him that I was trying. We talked and I finally told him that it was not all me. That Kate was doing some of it 2. He talked 2 her about it and I latter recived a call from him telling me not 2 talk 2 her 4 a few days. She was crying and thought that he hated her! O man....what a mess. I could not sit back and watch this...so I decided that I would call Kate. It took me a while 2 get a hold of her. When i did she was a little confused @ what 2 do. We talked 4 about an hour. I told her that if she wanted 2 stay w/ Michael that she could and I would dissapear. If she could not take it then I suggested that she break up w/ Michael and b single 4 @least a month! I was not sure what she was going 2 do but I had a hunch that she might break up w/ him. The more I thought about it the more I was giulty about it. I really did not want them 2 break up. I had told her 2 talk 2 others about it and esspecially Michael! I was sitting here @ my grandmas waiting...cing if she would call or something so that I would know what was goind on! I knew that she might not do n e thing untill mon. when I got back. 2day its sunday. I got an e-mail from her saying that she has decided 2 stay w/ Micheal. She had good reason and I respect that. If I can I know that I will wait 4 her. She is very special and I know that we will have a great relationship some day. Even if we do just become friends! We fit 2gether. I know that this was so hard on Kate and I dont want her 2 hurt n e more. I know that sence I will dissapear she will not think of me as much! This will make it easier 4 her 2 "love" Michael. She told me that no matter what she will c me on my b-day. That is July 26. I will look 4ward 2 that day 4 a while now. It's only the 3rd. So I have 23 days 2 go. It will b a ride...but I know that God will take me through it. Well I want 2 leave u w/ this if u have had the heart 2 read this whole thing! I Corinthians 13 "If I speak in the tounges of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have Prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountians, but have not love, I am nothing. If I gave away all I have, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love dose not insist on its way; it is not irritable or resentful; it dose not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, belives all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends; as for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For our knowledge is imperfect and out prophecy is imperfect; but when the perfect comes, the imperfect will pass away. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall understand fully, even as i have been fully understood. So faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love." I hope that someday I will b able 2 fully understand and reflect that in my life. Untill then it will b my challenge. As so many parts of scripture r!